Anxiety often shows up at night, when your mind has fewer distractions. With the quiet of the night, when you’re trying to get to sleep, it can seem like your mind is in overdrive, anticipating events of the next day or week, replaying what happened during the day, or struggling with images, memories, or stories from the past. If you are experiencing an increase in anxiety at night, you are not alone, and these tips may help.
Thank your mind. Our minds have evolved to scan for threats and prepare to fight or avoid them. When intrusive worry thoughts come up at night, your mind may be trying to process, plan, or prepare. If this is the case, try saying “thank you mind.” Acknowledging your mind’s effort can help reduce the intensity of these thoughts.
Name the thought. Often, our thoughts themselves are not the problem - it’s how stuck or hooked we get by the thoughts that can be problematic. Taking a step back to name the thought (e.g., “I’m noticing the thought…” or “There’s my mind planning again”) allows you to become an observer, creating distance. Instead of struggling against your thoughts, you turn down their volume, giving yourself permission to let them be—just words passing through.
Focus on your breath. Once you’ve acknowledged your thoughts, bring your attention to your breath. Notice each inhale and exhale without trying to change it. Sometimes, simply observing your breath can naturally slow it down. You might mentally say “inhale” and “exhale” with each breath, keeping your mind focused on the present moment and grounding your body.
Imagine a peaceful place. Calling to mind a place where you feel relaxed and at ease can help promote restfulness. This might be on a lake, on a beach, at the peak of a mountain, in the forest or a meadow, whatever feels peaceful to you. Go through each of your senses and imagine what it is that you see in this peaceful place, what you hear and smell, what you can touch and taste. If it feels too hard or unnatural to think of these things on your own, there are many guided imagery meditations available on YouTube or other meditation apps.
Establish a bedtime routine. Having a routine at night helps you prepare better for sleep mentally and physically. Just as children benefit from a calming bedtime routine, adults do too. Having a routine for yourself can create a predictable pattern that helps you transition from wakefulness to restfulness. In just a few short steps, you can start signaling to your body it’s time for rest.
Stop clock-watching. If you have a clock in your bedroom, move it to another room or turn it around, or move it out of your eyesight. Don’t look at your phone, even though it might be tempting to see just how much time has passed since you first tried falling asleep. More often than not, becoming aware of the minutes and hours ticking by generates MORE anxiety. “If I get to sleep now, I’ll only have 5 hours of sleep… now I’ll only have 4 hours of sleep… I’m going to be so tired in tomorrow’s meeting… How am I going to care for the kids with only 2 hours of sleep!” Instead, try to notice when your mind says “What time is it?” And try to respond as, “here my mind goes again wondering about the time.” (Then, back to the breath!)
Keep consistent. Also, you may have heard about the importance of keeping a consistent bedtime and wake time, but if you’re struggling to sleep at night, it may be tempting to sleep in the following morning. At first, it is often easier to control our wake time, not so much our sleep time. (Wouldn’t it be nice to snap our fingers and be fast asleep?!) So, even though it is VERY difficult, and your body wants to stay in bed, keep your wake time consistent. Set an alarm, and get out of bed when the alarm goes off.
Sleep deprivation promotes sleep consolidation.
Make this your new mantra. So, you may feel initially super groggy and tired, but eventually your body will achieve sleep.
Modify your sleep environment. Make your bed and bedroom a sleep haven. Change your pillows and sheets, if needed. Get a new mattress, if necessary and feasible. Make sure the environment is dark, quiet, and cool. If you need a sound machine, eye mask, or ear plugs, try those out.
When an unpleasant thought arises, it is natural to want to get rid of it or ignore it. During the daytime, you might try to distract yourself by refocusing on work, socializing with others, or caretaking for children, but at night, those distractions go away. When we try to get rid of an unpleasant thought at night, we set ourselves up for failure. The more we struggle with those thoughts, the louder they often become. This can trigger an anxiety spiral, making it harder to fall and stay asleep.
Instead, notice what your mind is saying and what it’s doing. Become an interested observer of your thoughts. Then, imagine lowering the volume of your thoughts and refocus your attention on your breath and body. And, of course, make sure your sleep environment is calm, quiet, dark, and cool.
If you have been struggling with anxiety and sleep, therapy can be a helpful place to seek additional support and guidance on how to implement these changes.
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